A recent exchange of ideas between me and Dr. Dennen in the comments section of one of my recent blog posts brought back a memory from my time as a Resident Assistant in undergrad.
In 2008, as a Junior, I was an RA in Bryan Hall on FSU's campus. I loved living there (I was a resident there my freshman year as well), and I was so excited to help shape the minds of freshman and introduce them to everything FSU had to offer. That fall, I was also offered a position as a new student Orientation Leader for the upcoming summer (it would be my second year in that position, which I was very excited for)! There were a number of other RAs who had also been selected to be OLs for the first time, a few of whom were on my staff.
As it went, the Orientation program scheduled a welcome banquet for all Orientation Leaders to attend to get to know each other and learn a little about what the program would entail. Unfortunately, that event fell on the same night as an all-RA staff meeting -- which would double as a Halloween social. It was very strongly enforced that anything RA-related was to come before any other extracurricular activities; where they got you, however, is that any time something came up, whether it was pre-scheduled or not, it was to take priority. So when this staff meeting came into conflict, it became priority number 1. When I broached the subject with my supervisors in our regular team meeting, they dismissed my concern, again reminding the staff that RA events took precedence. The conversation got very heated, and I made a number of opinions known.
Fuming, I retaliated the only way I could think to do...by writing a strongly-worded Facebook status. To this day, I remember exactly what it said: "[Ello] just loves mandatory fun and all that it stands for. P.S. I would choose OL any day." within a few minutes, the Director of Residence Life commented with a simple "interesting."
The very next day, I was asked to meet with him in his office. The conversation was calm, but it was made very clear that my attitude was noted and that my continuing as an RA was directly contingent on my not having any more such outbursts. While I don't remember exactly what happened (whether the time or date of the All-RA meeting was changed), we were able to attend the OL welcome banquet (and I did make it through the rest of the year with my RA job intact).
Almost 13 years later, I still stand by my sentiments...however, I'd like to think I'm mature enough to recognize that the way I went about venting my frustrations left much to be desired. I guess I'm sharing this now as a reminder that comments made on social media can still have very real consequences.
Cheers!
-Ello (he/him/his)
Hey, Ello.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a time at my old job at Best Buy. I went to work one Sunday morning sick as a dog. And, truly, I was sick, so I was permitted to leave work. It was still pretty early in the day and I didn't want to be alone so I made the decision to drive the two hours to my then boyfriend's (now husband's) house. He had some errands to run and I went with him and I posted a photo of him on my snapchat. The next day, I returned to work and was asked to speak with my manager, who questioned whether I was actually sick and why I left early to go visit with my boyfriend.
Like you, I stand by my decision and the feelings that I associated with the conversation I had with my boss. However, since then, I've opted out of having my coworkers on my social media. To this day, I'm not sure who shared the image with him or why, but I learned my lesson.
Thanks for sharing this post!
Caitlin, that is so frustrating for a number of reasons! Of course, there's what we discussed in terms of social media being used "against us" when something we post is disputed (in both cases, our loyalty to the organizations we were working for)...but there's also a much greater conversation about being made to feel guilty for NOT being at work. Yes you were sick, but you had every right to be with your boyfriend regardless of your health! No where in any employee handbook does it say how or where an illness must be treated lol!
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